BYU Education Week Notes -- Thursday Part 1

DISCOVERING JOY THROUGH KINDNESS (MARY ELLEN EDMUNDS):  We need to be kinder, more forgiving, and reach out to lift others, lay aside old grudges and nurture them no more.  She told the story of a young man who nearly killed a young man, but she forgave him and pleaded for the judge to be merciful to him and not send him to jail.  Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.  Treat everybody as if that was the last time you'd see them.  Just be kind to everyone, knowing we're all dealing with something hard.  True neighborliness doesn't say you'll do something nice for them if they do something nice for you.  We shouldn't have to be rewarded for being kind.  Charity suffereth long and is kind.  Kindness without love is not kindness at all.  It's smugness and superiority.  If you've been the recipient of this type of kindness, you know you'd rather do without it.  We also need patience.  We're not easily provoked, endure all things.  A charitable person is patient, strong, and long lasting.  Loving kindness listens patiently, forgives freely.  We need to be kind to people, no matter how they feel.  She was sitting behind 6 year old boy in church.  An older man was walking up and down the aisles counting people, looking uncomfortable, and the little boy reached out his hand and shook the older man's hand. A kind act can make a difference.  A little boy asked his parents for a bike for his birthday and got it.  He was thrilled with it and loved riding it.  He also let his little brother ride it and asked his parents to give his brother a bike for his birthday, which was coming up in less than a month.  His father explained that they didn't have enough money to buy another bike after buying him one, and would try to get his brother a bike next year.  The next month he cleaned up his bike and put a tag on it to his brother as a birthday gift.  A little baby only lived 7 months.  Her mother had started a blog and gave reports about how the baby was doing.  Pretty soon people from all over the world were adding comments and saying they were praying for her.  Thousands came to her funeral last week.  So many wanted to help.  Many have contributed to the tremendous medical costs.  Many have committed to improve their lives and be better parents.  This little life had a big impact on many people.  Is there anything you can do differently with the people you know that will bring you more joy as you show them kindness, and make a difference to them?  Is there anyone you need to tell you love them?  How do you respond to others?  How do you react at the post office when the line is really long?  How about when you're driving in traffic?  How do you respond to strangers?  Do you ever have a day when you just want to do a do-over?  She looks back at her life and wishes she was an adult when she was in preschool.  But we can start today to be kinder.  Different days we feel differently, but we can ask ourselves what Jesus wants us to do?  She was in line at a car wash and noticed an older man ahead of her who kept trying to put a dollar bill in the machine which kept coming back out.  She was growing impatient.  She began to watch herself watch him and was disappointed at what she saw.  So then she figured out maybe she could help.  So she got out of her car and went over and helped him figure out how to use the machine. She made him happy and was able to get him through the line quicker as well.  Let us follow the Son of God in all ways.  At every opportunity we should ask ourselves, "What would Jesus do?"  We need to listen for the answer.  And then we need to do it!  We must be about His work and He is about His Father's.  We should try, try, try!  Be gentle as we cheer and bless in humanity's name.  Somebody gave her some flowers which she couldn't use because of allergies so she gave them to a shy girl who really beamed at the gift.  This began a friendship between the two of them.  Do we allow those in need to pass by and don't notice them?  We need to pay attention to those around us.  When we do something for someone else, it's as if we did it to our Savior.  Sometimes our kindness consists of just a little thing--a smile or a hello.  This morning she saw an older couple struggling to get across the campus.  The husband was in a wheelchair and the wife was sitting on a walker and the husband was trying to pull his wife along.  She was so touched by seeing them.  There was a time in her life many years ago when she was really struggling and her 11 year old sister sat by her bed and read to her until she was able to fall asleep.  All these years later, she remembers that act of love from her sister.  Do something for which you get no pay other than the privilege of doing it.  Kindness is a way to fill the world with love.  Do things every day.  You don't wait for praise or notice, just do things quietly.  Just drop your love into the lake and allow the ripples to go out.  She feels like she could ask anybody in the room for help and we'd all be willing to help her.  Maybe she wouldn't have to ask.  If she fell off the stage right now, she guesses people would come up to try to help her.  Our prophet has told us to reach out to all mankind.  They are all sons and daughters of Heavenly Father and He will hold us accountable for how we treat them.  We need to feed the hungry and clothe the needy.  Welcome new neighbors and show kindness toward them.  After tornados in Oklahoma it was reported in the local paper that two organizations helped the most--the Mormons and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints! When we have love in our hearts, we don't need to be told all the ways we can help others.  As we reach out to others, we'll become more conscious of their needs.  Develop more awareness! The Lord will guide us to who we can help and what we can do for them.  Believe in the magic of kindness and the miracles that come!  We must cherish one another that we can all sit down in heaven together.  Make a difference because of your love and kindness. 

MAKING YOUR SCRIPTURE STUDY MORE MEANINGFUL--LOOK FOR TRUTHS AS YOU STUDY (JOHN L. HILTON III):  Looking for specific things as you study, and having a purpose.  It's easy to miss things you're not looking for.  The scriptures contain so many jewels over which we pass too lightly, especially some stunning one-liners.  "His word was in my heart as a burning fire in my bones."  How deep is the world of God in our hearts?  Do we talk of the scriptures and rejoice in the scriptures?  If we're just skimming through the scriptures, there are things we'll glide right through without noticing.  Treasure up the word. 1) Study, search, and examine.  2) Ignore existing punctuation marks and verse and chapter breaks.  3) put periods in a sentence where there are none.  4) after you've isolated a phrase, ask yourself whether those words express an idea much bigger than the words themselves. Turn to a random page in the D&C and look for one liners, 7 or 8 words at the most.  Search for principles as you read.  Principles are concentrated truths, packed for application to a wide variety of circumstances.  A true principle makes decisions clear even under the most confusing and compelling circumstances.  While on his mission he tried to compile a list of appropriate music the missionaries could listen to.  But a visiting authority pointed out that his list would have to be constantly updated.  Instead of making a list, we need a principle to follow, such as only listening to music that would be appropriate in a sacrament meeting.  Characteristics of principles--they are often complete sentences, they are simple, they often have a format of if...then, they are often best when they are personal.  How can we find principles?  Separate principles from details.  Pause to ponder and ask questions.  Rewrite the principles you find in your own words in the margin of your scriptures.  Who are the main characters and what is happening?  What can I learn from this situation?  How do these verses apply to me?  And thus we see...what?  Why did the Lord choose to say that particular phrase?  Pause to ponder and ask questions.  Always have a marking pencil ready as you study.  Make notations in the margins.  Write cross references.  Make the scriptures yours by marking them.  Rewrite the principles you find in your own words in the margin of your scriptures.  They are often complete sentences.  They are simple.  They often have a format of if...then.  They are often best when they are personal.  Practice this!  If you just hear about it and don't do it, it probably won't become a part of your life.  You need to apply this.  We often leave the most precious personal direction of the Spirit unheard because we do not record and respond to the first promptings that come to us.  If you're not looking for something, you may miss it.  Look for lists.  Look for definitions, phrases like "in other words."  Fasting and prayer is referred to as rejoicing and prayer. This shows us that the Lord considers fasting and rejoicing synonymous.  We can't just read the Book of Mormon five times and think we're done.  Each time we read we can find things we never noticed before.  The scriptures are the words of life.  The most important thing you can do is to immerse yourself in the scriptures. 

PREPARING FOR THE LATTER-DAYS, RECENT EVENTS IN THE LIGHT OF PROPHECY (RICHARD O. COWAN):
One of the benefits of studying history is to give us perspective on what has happened in the past. Prophecy is history in reverse. The gathering of Israel is prophesied to cycle up and then clamorous events would increase before the coming of Christ and His Millennial reign.  One of the biggest items in the news recently has been the fiscal crisis.  More and more people are raising the question if this is consistent with the constitution.  Is this the time when the constitution will hang by a thread?  The Saints might play a role in saving it.  This doesn't necessarily mean the church as a whole, but perhaps church members acting as citizens.  This applies to people worldwide in a general sense, not just to American citizens.  The Holy Land is mentioned for the gathering of Israel.  Recent events--in 1836 Moses restored the keys to the gathering of Israel.  The Zionist movement began in the 1890's.  Fifty years before Theodore Herzel, Orson Hyde went to the Holy Land and dedicated the land to the return of the Jews.  The way was opened to Elder Hyde to go there and offer that prayer just at the time that he did.  In 1831 the Arabs revolted against Turkish control and for a time succeeded.  The Europeans came to the aid of Turkey and in 1839 succeeded in restoring Turkey's power, with the stipulation that people would be able to visit in safety.  So for the first time in centuries it was safe for people to travel to the Holy Land. It was after that that Orson Hyde was able to go there and offer his prayer.  God's covenant with Abraham was beginning to be fulfilled.  In 1968 he made a trip to the Holy Land with some faculty members.  They went before sunrise on a Sunday morning to the Mount of Olives to hold their own Priesthood Meeting.  They were the largest group of priesthood holders to be there in 2,000 years.  The way was cleared for Elder Hyde to go and do his dedicatory prayer.  George A. Smith and David O. McKay later went and offered additional dedicatory prayers.  So that land is duly dedicated!  We are counseled not to take sides in the battles between the children of Ismael and the children of Isaac.  We're on both sides. From a non scriptural point of view, which side has the stronger claim?  The Jewish people can claim they were there first, but the Arabs have been there steadily for a longer time.  We try to cooperate with both sides.  There are wonderful people in both groups.  The prophecy is that the Jews would return, and they are.  But the Jewish people's Arab cousins are also prophesied to be there.  There are to be wars and rumors of wars.  Think of W.W.II, the allies vs. the axis.  There were alliances.  This is something that was prophesied.  Wars have been a fact of life increasingly in recent times.  There has not been a time in recent times when we were absent from wars.  Orson Pratt in 1879 said wars in the last days will be neighborhood against neighborhood, city against city, town against town, county against county, and thus they will go forth burning and pillaging the whole country.  We've seen this kind of thing in London recently.  We have wars against terror and against drugs.  We have many wars and terrorist groups within countries.  What Elder Pratt foresaw has come to be the case.  If we want to remain free, we must serve Jesus Christ who is the God of this land.  Do you remember when President Hinckley challenged us to reread the Book of Mormon again?  When he accepted this challenge, he decided to look for times this theme was repeated about serving the God of the land to remain free.  It was repeated over and over again all through the Book of Mormon.  But our country has become very far from that ideal.  Iniquity is abounding.  Let's talk about Eastern Europe.  There were areas of Soviet Communism.  But it was prophesied that nations that were less receptive to receiving the gospel would be swept aside and be replaced by countries that would be more receptive.  We all have lived to see that happen.  In the fall of 1989 he was teaching in the Jerusalem Center and would listen to the news over there.  He heard about groups demonstrating against the government and it continued to build until they broke through the Berlin Wall and it was physically torn down at that time.  It was an exciting time to think about these people yearning for freedom and achieving it for the first time.  He heard about a family in East Germany who build their own hot air balloon to escape.  People were shot trying to cross the wall.  Now to see this wall torn down was an exciting thing.  Then missionaries began going into these areas.  These wonderful events that opened the doors for the gospel had gospel roots. In 1977 President Spencer W. Kimball offered a prayer in Warsaw, praying that the gospel could come to that country.  Three years later there was an election that set a precedent.  In East Germany there wasn't any free travel from east to west.  In 1975 Thomas S. Monson offered a prayer in East Germany that the people would have the blessings of the temple.  At that time there were no temples in Eastern Europe.  Henry Berkhardt took that blessing to heart and went to the Communist authorities asking for permission to take a group of church members to Switzerland to attend the temple.  Year after year the answer was NO!!!  But then one year when he made his annual request, an authority said he would not grant authority for them to leave to go to the temple, but why didn't they build a temple there?  When Elder Berkhardt picked himself up off the floor, it was the beginning of plans to build a temple in East Germany.  The blessings of the gospel were among the significant factors that lead to the changes that took place.  Joel talked about how the Lord would pour out His Spirit in the last days, and this doesn't just refer to the restoration of the gospel. Think of the world in 1800 and compare it to today.  People traveled by foot or the backs of animals or in vehicles drawn by animals.  They communicated by letters transported the same way.  In the days of the Savior, people traveled and communicated the same way.  In 1,800 years things remained pretty much the same way.  But right after that, the steam engine was invented, then the telegraph, then the radio and now the Internet.  In 1897 Jello was invented.  The invention of the computer has facilitated genealogy work.  All this technology has facilitated the work of the Lord.  Jet transportation preceded the creation of the first stakes overseas, which allowed travel there in hours.  How does Jello fit in?  How could you hold ward dinners without Jello?  It is important for the Lord's Kingdom to spread forth.  We can do the Lord's work better with the help of technology.  We organize to do the Lord's work better and easier by sharing the work load, by delegating responsibility which makes leaders of members.  The mission of the church is to bring people to Christ, both the living and the dead.  The Lord's Kingdom will one day fill the earth.  This hasn't happened yet, but the church continues to grow at a faster rate than the growth rate of the general population of the world.  Our growth rate is among the fastest.  The LDS Church has grown 220% since 1970. By way of comparison,  Southern Baptists have grown 33%.  Roman Catholics have grown 29%.  Jew grew 3%.  Methodists have declined 21%, Episcopals have declined 28%.  Presbyterians have declined 36%.  Only one-third to one-fourth of the grown of the LDS Church comes from children being born into the Church. The large share of our growth comes through conversions.  In 1900 almost all Latter-day Saints lived in the Intermountain West.  But now more than half live in other countries.  In a few years more than half will live in Latin America, and there will be more Spanish speaking members than English speaking ones.  There were 100 stakes created in the first 100 years of the church.  But now we've had years when 100 stakes were created in one year.  In the past, all the stakes were in Utah.  Now they're all over the world.  The challenge of worldwide growth is to relate the gospel to varied cultures, distribute needed church literature, provide physical facilities, keep in touch with a growing worldwide membership, meet basic educational needs, develop local leaders, administer the expanding church. 

WE'RE JUST SO DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER--HOW TO TRANSFORM YOUR CONFLICTS AND DIFFERENCES INTO YOUR GREATEST MARITAL STRENGTHS (CARRIE M. WRIGLEY):  When people's relationships don't go well, it brings them down and makes them depressed.  This class is not exclusively for married people.  Even if you've never been married or are not currently married, these things will help you in all your relationships. Why did God create us so differently?  How can you take people who are so different from each other and bring them together in unity?  There are skills we can develop to help with that.  The Cinderella story is of a poor girl who has struggled who meets a wealthy Prince with an easy life. The story ends there.  But think about Part 2 of this story. She did a silly short song capturing the frustrating they might have felt as they began adjusting to each other.  Opposites attract and then they drive each other insane.  She married him because he was such a strong man.  She divorced him because he was such a dominating male.  He married her because she was so fragile and petite.  He divorced her because she was so weak and helpless.  He married her because she as steady and sensible.  He divorced her because she was boring and dull.  She married him because he was happy and romantic.  She divorced him because he was shiftless and fun loving. He married her because she reminded him of his mother.  He divorced her because she was getting more like her mother every day.  She married him because he was the life of the party.  She divorced him because he was always the life of the party.  The things that attract us initially are often the very things we grow to hate later.  Men marry women with the hope they will never change.  Women marry men with the hope that they will change.  They are both disappointed. How relationships change over time:  The honeymoon stage.  We all go through stages of feeling more in love and less in love.  If we expect to live happily ever after, we'll be disappointed.  We need to expect to be miserable part of the time, keep going, and eventually get to a better place.  We go through the power struggle stage.  When we get married we see a perfect person, but quickly discover their imperfections.  We need to work together to become more perfect.  Her husband is not a perfect man, but he is the perfect companion for her.  He has helped her grown in ways she never could have grown by herself. But they have their differences. There are things he thinks are important that she thinks are silly, and vice versa. The honeymoon stage will end.  But that's not necessarily the end of the relationship.  There are three ways out of the power struggle stage:  1) divorce  2) emotional divorce 3) moving on to stage 3, the conscious marriage.  Now that you know the strengths and weaknesses, what can you build?  The first ingredient you need is time.  You also need talk.  The third thing is respect.  How your partner sees it is neither more nor less valid than how you see it.  Honoring both perspectives is essential to finding happy, workable, long-term solutions.  We can learn to see our partner's world as clearly as we see our own, and we respect that both worlds are valid.  For example, she could bring a husband and wife to the front of the room and have them stand back to back, with the husband facing forward and the wife facing backward.  Then, asking them to describe the room the wife would say it's a large auditorium with a few hundred people in it and 5 exit signs.  The husband, when asked the same question, would say the room has a large screen, a stage, and a piano.  When asked if he could see any people, he'd say no.  When asked if he could see any exit signs, he'd say no.  When the wife was asked if she could see a screen or a piano, she'd say no.  Who is right?  They both are.  They need to respect the other person's perspective.  If you argue about no people vs. 400 people or a piano vs. exit signs, you'll be in gridlock forever.  It's just as damaging to quietly mumble under your breath that the other person is wrong as to loudly argue with each other.  We need to share our worlds with each other.  Even though we see things a particular way, we need to consider that we can see more together than we can see separately.  Some common male, female differences:  Brain function. One logical man said he'd learned that when he rejects his wife's intuitions, it is to his peril. Hormonal pattern.  Friendship definition.  Women define their best friends as those they can talk about anything with.  Men define their best friends as those they can do things with.  Communication.  She talks to emotionally bond.  He talks to solve problems.  There five languages of love.  1.  Words of affirmation.  2.  Quality time.  3.  Receiving gifts.  4.  Acts of service.  5.  Physical touch. If you have one person who thinks you show love by washing dishes and vacuuming and the other person who thinks you show love by spending time talking, you're going to have two frustrated people.  The physical person is always trying to show love physically and the verbal person is trying to express it verbally and neither feels loved.  We need to understand the other person's love language and try to communicate out love to them in their language.  Personality differences that are hard wired and aren't going to be changed.  Examples:  Introvert and extrovert.  Very often introverts marry extroverts and they don't understand each other.  Sensor vs. intuitive.  Sensors see facts and realities, intuitives are creative and have dreams.  You need both practicality and vision.  Thinker vs. feeler.  Thinker wants to tell you boldly how it is, feeler wants everything gentle.  Judger vs. perceiver.  Perceivers are the ones who want to stop and smell the roses.  The perceiver wants to have the house picked up perfectly.  Let's get the job done!  We end up with people who are different on all these fronts, with different personalities.  How do you take all these differences and put them together in unity?  How do you learn to be one?  Jesus Christ was perfect.  Which was His love language?  All of them!  He had perfect balance in all these qualities. A partner who is different can expand our range of qualities to make us both more balanced.  We need each other.  Respect the unique contribution of each partner and make sure it has a place to ring out and be hears.  Appreciate the distinct resonance of each other.  Enjoy balance and harmony.  Puzzle pieces come together not because they're the same, but because they're different.  We are designed to be different.  Instead of being in competition, you can complete each other. When the honeymoon is over and you start to see the differences, this is when real love starts. Two imperfect people just trying to do their best.