BYU Education Week Notes -- Thursday Part 2

LIVING IN THANKSGIVING DAILY (AMY READING): One of the big ways we express gratitude is through prayer.  Her little son teaches her this in his prayers thanking Heavenly Father for everything.  We need to find an attitude of gratitude.  Show your thanks through your giving.  President Monson said "Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the door of heaven and helps us feel God's love."  Instead of focusing on what we don't have, we can focus on the things we have to be grateful for.  Nephi's attitude was positive, whereas his brothers whined the whole time.  Nephi was grateful for what he had, Laman and Lemuel complained about what they didn't have.  They had the same wilderness but different attitudes.  In the New Testament when all they had were seven loaves and a few fishes, they gave thanks.  And then there was plenty.  When we give thanks, there is more than enough.  Are there things you do in your life to give thanks?  Sometimes just smiling gives and aura of thanks.  Sometimes we get used to things and stop noticing them.  We get used to the mountains and flowers and don't appreciate them.  We can be unaware and ungrateful.  We should stop taking things for granted.  She showed a video clip of random people in New York who were asked the question, "What are you thankful for?"  People said they were thankful for their jobs, their families, their dog, their lives.  One man was thankful when he could get a seat on the subway and when a fight didn't break out.  Another man said he was thankful for a bed to sleep in because he'd been homeless.  We should express gratitude in ALL things.  That's not easy.  Corie Ten Boom was in a concentration camp.  Her sister thanked the Lord for the fleas.  They later found out that the reason they were able to read the Bible every night without being raided by the guards was because the guards hated the fleas so they avoided going in there. One girl said she was grateful her house burned down because it brought their family together.  Think back in your life and see if you can find hard things that have strengthened you or that you grew from. When ten lepers were healed, only one came back to thank Jesus.  Wouldn't that be something to be numbered among those who failed to return and acknowledge the Savior for the blessings He had given them?  When she and her husband were newlyweds and had no money, her husband's car broke down and a counselor in the bishopric stayed up all night long fixing it for them.  They were so grateful.  He sacrificed so they could have a car.  Constantly find things to be grateful for.  Keep a gratitude journal.  You'll start looking for things to write about.  Look for ways that the hand of God touched your life each day.  Often we just go through our day without noticing the tender mercies.  Pondering on the day allows God to remind us what He has done, even things we didn't notice or pay attention to when they happened.  Count your many blessings, name them one by one.  And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.  When we forget to look for God's hand in our lives every day, that's when we start sinking, just like Peter started sinking when He took his eye off the Savior.  She showed another video clip of two boys walking down a country road many years ago and coming upon the shoes of a man working out in the field.  One boy suggested they hide the shoes and see his reaction when he came back looking for them.  The other boy had a different suggestion.  He suggested that they put a silver dollar in each of the shoes and see the man's reaction.  That's what they did.  Then they hid and watched the man come back and discover the silver dollars.  He knelt down and prayed giving thanks to God for the much needed money, mentioning his sick wife and his children that didn't have bread to eat.  The two boys remained hidden until the man left, then walked away saying how good they felt.  Write a letter to someone thanking them for something they've done for you.  She wishes she had thanked her grandparents for all they'd done for her before they died.  She wishes she had just one more day to spend with them.  Take a minute and write down things you are grateful for.  Write as fast as you can for one minute. Say a prayer of gratitude.  Try to pray for at least 5 minutes without asking for anything, but just giving thanks.  Find a way to be an instrument in the Lord's hands and give an act of service.  We are so blessed to live in this dispensation and have the blessings of the gospel.  We have a living prophet and the priesthood and the Book of Mormon. 

WHERE'S MY LOVED ONE NOW?  DOCTRINES ON DEATH AND RESURRECTION (JACK S. MARSHALL): Even in the darkest situations of life, we can retain a sense of hope, a sense of gratitude, a sense of humor. Some headstones: "See I told you I was sick."  "Here lies an Atheist all dressed up and no place to go."  "Sir John Strange:  Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange."  "Here lies John Timothy who died for a lady's honor.  She wanted to keep it." When we're living in mourning, we should not try to live too many days ahead.  The death of a loved one is one of the most severe tests we will ever face.  If we can overcome that challenge and remain faithful, putting one foot in front of the other, we can rise above anything here in mortality.  His son Taylor passed away five years ago, at age 26.  The night his son was born, he fell asleep and had a dream of many little babies crawling all over his lawn. Then he saw one of those babies alone on the porch, with his hand stretched out to him.  He wrapped him up in his arms and held him close.  As he looked at him, he knew there was something wrong with the child. Then his wife woke him up from this dream and told him she was in labor.  Because of this dream, he was afraid there might be something wrong with the baby.  At first he seemed fine, but as he grew it became obvious that he had emotional problems.  When they moved to Utah, Taylor was a young boy and stomped in the snow "Utah sucks."  As a teenager, he would rebel against everything.  If his curfew was midnight, he would come home at 3:00 a.m. When he expressed concern about him being out so late, he said, "Don't worry about me falling asleep at the wheel.  When I'm tired, I roll my pony tail up in the window so if I nod off, it pulls my hair and wakes me up." Later his life seemed to straighten out and he served a mission, which was the happiest time of his life. Then he became an EMT and was thinking of becoming a doctor.  He went on a Humanitarian trip with some doctors.  He started getting back pains and doctors gave him a muscle relaxer, not realizing he was experiencing heart problems.  He came home and went to bed, and he died.  They had to go to his apartment to clean it out.  Intellectually he believed in the resurrection, but now he needed to know where his son was.  The spirits of all are taken home to God.  The righteous rest from all their troubles, cares, and sorrows.  The shadow of death is so trifling after we cross it that we'll look back at our past life and be so glad that we no longer have to experience the pains and sorrows of life.  We'll run, walk, labor, and do whatever we want and feel no pain or weariness.  Those of you who have lost loved ones in difficult physical straits can gain comfort knowing they are in such a wonderful place.  What a beautiful teaching! We'll have more friends in that life than we have here.  When a person comes into the spirit world, they will be greeted with rejoicing by those who have gone before.  What's it like in the spirit world?  The spirit world is not far away and sometimes the veil between worlds is very thin.  The loved ones we have lost are not far away.  In this mortal world we are plagued by mortal ills and pains.  But in the post mortal world we are free from these troubles.  We can know that our loved ones are free from the ailments they had in this life.  The gardens are beautiful and there are 50-100 colored flowers growing on one stalk.  This world seems drab by comparison. He told a joke of an 85 year old couple who had been married for 60 years.  They were both in good health, thanks to the wife insisting that they eat healthy foods.  But then they got in a plane crash and were killed.  They went to heaven where everything was wonderful!  The husband turned to his wife in disgust saying, "You and your bran muffins.  We could have gotten here 10 years earlier!"  Our loved ones are even more interested in our welfare now than they were when they were alive.  They love us just as much.  They can see the pitfalls and temptations that beset us and they have great desires for our well being.  It's not just visitations, but promptings, that can come to us from our loved ones.  They can bring messages of love or warning, reproof or instruction.  They can buoy us up and strengthen us.  A lady said her husband was sick with pneumonia when his mother came to him (she had been dead for years) and she sang to him, a primary song she used to sing when he was a child, "Oh Hush Thee, My Baby."  This was an encouragement to him.  A 17 year old girl had a dream where her grandfather who had passed away came to her and told her to do baptisms for the dead.  He said he was preaching the gospel to people over there who wanted to be baptized.  After that she did 10,000 baptisms for the dead.  A little girl had major surgery and was in the intensive care unit of the hospital.  She said she could see her grandparents who had died, and her aunt.  She also mentioned seeing someone who told her he was her father's brother.  He had died years early, when he as 13.  Later she said that all the children in the intensive care unit likewise had spirits of loved ones watching over them.  If you have loved ones who were not faithful and died, where are they?  That can weigh on us heavily.  There are comforting doctrines of the spirit world for the righteous, but what of those who were not?  James E. Faust said that even though some of the sheep wander, they can be drawn back to the fold, either in this life or the life to come.  They will suffer for their sins, but the painful experience will not be in vain.  Hold on to them.  Hope on, trust on, until you see the salvation of God.  They must fully repent for their sins.  It's not a free ride.  But in spirit prison they can go through a process of learning.  It's still possible for them to work out their repentance.  Missionaries are sent to spirit prison to preach to the spirits there.  All the spirits of men will get to hear the gospel in the next world.  Only full knowledge brings full accountability in the gospel.  None of us fully understand the gospel.  When Noah preached to spirits in prison, he didn't preach to a bunch of strangers--he preached to those who rejected his message before the flood.  Moses ministered to the Israelites he labored with in mortality and wandered in the wilderness with for 40 years.  What is being done in the Spirit world?  Your dead righteous relatives are laboring with your wayward relatives.  There is no tragedy in death, but only in sin.  When a baby dies, he goes back to the Spirit world.  What about handicaps?  In the next life they'll be the same person with the same personality, but they will be made whole. Deforming and defects will be removed. Every man and woman will receive his body in the perfect frame.  We'll be judged from the book of life.  The book of life is the record of the acts of men written in their own bodies.  It's the record engraved in their very bones.  Every act a man does is written into his body.  A celestial body is pure and spotless and at its finest bloom.  Men's bodies will contain an account of their lives. He is grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  He's grateful for the Resurrection and that we can embrace our loved ones again someday. 

PRACTICAL TOOLS TO HELP US LOVE WHAT COMES (SHERRIE MILLS JOHNSON):  Every thought has very real physical properties that significant impact on every cell in a person's body.  Negative thoughts don't just influence attitudes; they negatively impact the entire body.  Positive thoughts have positive impact--on every cell of the body.  Your body is constantly changing according to what you respond to.  In the resurrection you will be restored to the body you created here on earth.  What you think changes your body on a daily basis.  Brigham Young said, "Recollect, brethren and sisters, every one of you, that when evil is suggested to you, when it arises in your hearts, it is though the temporal organization.  When you are tempted, buffeted and step out of the way inadvertently; when you are overtaken in a fault, or commit an overt act unthinkingly; when you are full of evil passion, and wish to yield to it, then stop and let the spirit which God has put into your tabernacles, take the lead.  If you do that, I will promise that you will overcome all evil, and obtain eternal lives.  But many, very many, let the spirit yield to the body and are overcome and destroyed."  Sometimes we have to stop and kneel before we can go forward and yield to the Spirit.  She printed up stop and yield signs to remind herself of this.  If you're full of anger it's hard to switch to feelings of kindness, but if you can just switch to neutral that's not as far, and then the Spirit can work to help you go the rest of the way.  Truth tools:  You cannot build a whole house with just a hammer.  You need more.  You need a whole toolbox.  If you feel vexation coming on and you grab a tool and it doesn't work, grab another one.  She went through a trial with a brain tumor.  They operated on it, it grew back, she's been through radiation and different things.  The tool that helped her the most was anchoring.  You just keep yourself in the present moment.  Many of our anxieties are caused by worry over the future or regrets over the past.  You can't do anything about the past.  It's gone, it's over, and you can't change it.  You can plan for the future and have goals, but you can't make it happen.  The Spirit resides in the present moment where you can receive what you need.  The adversary will try to tell you that living the gospel is difficult, but it isn't.  All you have to worry about is this very second.  The Savior will take care of the past and the future.  All he asks of you is to take care of this very moment.  That's all you have to worry about.  The anchoring will help you anchor into the present moment.  Don't let any thought come into your head regarding anything to do with the past or future or any worries, just concentrate on what you're feeling this very moment--what you're touching, smelling, sensing in this very moment.  Then she was silent for a minute and afterwards asked us what we felt--peace, relaxation, an awareness of the body, a joy.  It's surprising that there's joy in the present moment.  Focus!  Things didn't annoy you.  Calmness.  One woman felt everybody's light around her.  Another woman said she felt safe.  A man said he felt gratitude.  A woman said she felt a heightened awareness of things she didn't normally notice.  A man said he felt the Spirit more.  A woman said she felt self acceptance.  The teacher said she felt hope in the present moment.  Even if she just got bad news, if she can anchor in the present moment, all these feelings come.  You'll feel the influence of the Lord, all these positive things.  Joy, peace, happiness, gratitude, love.  One day a friend of hers kept criticizing her.  Normally she wasn't that way.  So she thought she'd change the subject by talking about something neutral.  She told her she was growing spearmint to make spearmint tea and she said she hated tea.  So she anchored herself.  It was late fall and the cool of the morning was on her cheek and she could hear the birds singing. All of a sudden she went from the pit to happiness.  It will happen if you can anchor yourself.  Anchoring got her through that experience.  The next tool is revision.  Stop and rewrite your story.  Say you're in a grocery store and an old friend passes you by, not being very friendly.  Instead of thinking she's feeling superior or hates you, rewrite the story.  Tell yourself she's having a bad day and it's nothing personal.  Escape the unnecessary pain.  Even if your story isn't true, it will save you pain.  When you know that something WILL bother you, in a non-threatening, quiet moment rewrite what you will do the next time you encounter the situation.  The next tool is called good courage.  Have not I commanded Thee?  Be strong, and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be Thou dismayed for the Lord they God is with Thee withersoever Thou goest. Joshua 1:9.  This was a commandment!  To be strong and not be dismayed  was not just good advice, it was a commandment!  The word courage did not mean bravery, it meant feelings and passions of the heart.  Love and kindness and goodness are all courage.  Have only the best of feelings.  The Lord tells us to be of good cheer.  Only let the joy in.  With all of the evil in the world around us, how can you only let the good in.  The answer is because the Lord Thy God is with Thee.  He's with you right now!  He is there!  When you anchor in this present moment, you will always sense His presence. She laminated this and put it on her mirror: "I have commanded you, Sherrie!  Be strong and only let the best of feelings into your heart.  Don't ever be afraid or discouraged because I, the Lord, your God, am always with you."  Just saying this out loud will change how you feel!  It will give you a charge.  Speak with positives.  Always set goals and give yourself instructions in the affirmative.  I can do it!  When something negative happens, don't beat yourself up.  Move forward.  Keep the affirmative going.  Instead of saying things in the negative, speak in the positive at all times.  The next tool is the tool of questioning.  Ask yourself, "Is it true?"  60% of the time when she asks herself this question, she just starts laughing because she recognizes how silly the story was.  Music is a powerful tool.  Surround yourself with good music.  Take good music with you.  She had a rule with her children that they could argue all they wanted if they sang it.  She would hear the kids singing "You wore my blouse and you didn't wash it."  This got them all laughing.  If you have a flat tire, start singing, "I shouldn't have run over that nail."  She can't sing at all, but that makes it all the funnier.  Make up your own music.  She had an iPod that she loaded with old Beach Boy music.  One day she accidentally locked her keys in the car and played "Fun, fun, fun, till daddy takes the T-bird away."  Humor is a fun tool, but be careful of it so it's not sarcastic, biting and hurting.  If used correctly, it can be a very powerful tool.  One day her husband was in a bad mood and her daughter poured tons of sugar on his cereal.  He came into the kitchen and grumpily said, "What all that?"  The daughter said, "Well, I thought if you ate that, you'd be a little sweeter."  That got him laughing.  Exaggerate your worries until they make you laugh.  Use laughter to break tension with others.  Learn to laugh at yourself and the terrible situations you are in when they happen.  If you can laugh, tension will ease and you can work through problems.  Distraction is a powerful tool.  Go do something else.  Take a walk.  Bake a cake.  Read a book.  Take a nap.  Do something you love to do.  Another tool is curiosity.  Instead of vexing--use your sense of wonder.  What new doors will open because of this?  What does God want me to learn from this?  Replace fear of the unknown with curiosity.  Suppose you lose your job.  Instead of telling yourself that you'll lose your house and starve to death, get curious about what new door God will open for you now.  Let the curiosity take over and replace the fear.  What does God want you to learn from the experience?  Gospel principles are a wonderful tool.  Gratitude, service, forgiveness, repentance, sacrament, prayer, scripture study.  If you start counting your blessings, it will help you every time.  Recognize that these aren't heavy commandments that God has given us to make us miserable, they are valuable tools and we should be grateful for them.  The truth test.  Write your story of what makes you feel a certain way.  I feel ________ (sad, angry, jealous hurt, resentful, offended, fearful, worried, etc.). Because ________________________.  Get it all out.  Then come to the next question.  What is my expectation?  Tell about how things should have been difference and describe the truth of what actually happened and what you would have liked to have happen.  Then ask, Is this expectation the truth and nothing but the truth in a telestial world?  What is the truth?  Is this necessary or unnecessary pain?  Do I need to be feeling this?  It happened in the past, remember.  We leave the past in the past.  The Savior's Atonement heals the past.  If you're hurting over that experience now and it was way in the past, your dad or whoever hurt you in the past isn't hurting you, you are.  If you let go of it, you'll be free. Let go of what your ex spouse did.  Let go of what cruel children did to you when you were a child.  Elizabeth Smart is a master of this principle.  Her perpetrator is not hurting her now.  It's a choice we can make.  Ask how we'd feel if we stopped expecting this?  How would I feel if I stopped expecting that my father didn't abuse me?  We'd feel better.  Get it out.  Write it down.  It helps.  After you've answered all these questions, ask:  What is the Spirit telling me to do right now?  Listen to your heart.  Your heart is open and able to accept.  This is often very, very enlightening.  There was a young man who had been on drugs and was struggling but when he began to change.  He wanted to repent.  He'd done a lot of shoplifting to support his drug habit so he went back to the stores and tried to pay for what he'd stolen.  But they wouldn't take it, saying it would mess up their cash registers.  So he'd go into the stores and buy something similar to what he'd stolen and then sneak back into the store and put it back on the shelf.  Going through this exercise of asking these questions and answering them will help you get over painful things.  One lady had a daughter who snapped at her and she kept feeling more and more vexed, thinking about how her daughter should not have treated her like that.  Later she attended this class.  Some time later she had her children over for dinner and overheard her daughter telling her siblings the story of what had happened that night, spinning it so that her mother was the villain.  She became angry all over again that her daughter would tell her siblings such negative things about her.  But she went through the exercise she'd learned in class and was able to feel good again.  She saw things differently.  Something had caused her daughter's emotional outburst.  Maybe she'd had a bad day or something else was causing her anger and it spilled over to her mother.  But whatever happened, happened and she needed to let it go.  She stayed in truth and peace.  That in itself was wonderful.  But something else happened. She felt an increase of love for her daughter, something that would not have happened if she's persisted in her negative story.  The present is always in this present moment and if we can stay in the realm of truth, the Spirit will always be there to help us.  We can leave in peace and joy all the time.