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Friday, May 3, 2013

My Notes from BYU Women's Conference

CONTINUE YOUR JOURNEY AND LET YOUR HEARTS REJOICE, I AM WITH YOU EVEN UNTO THE END  (Elaine Marshall):  Five years ago she moved thousands of miles away from her Utah home.  They lived in that Utah home for more than 20 years.  There were days of joy and hours of such pain she didn't know how she could continue.  Her children grew to adulthood there.  Her new home is on a pond, near Savannah, Georgia. Camillas bloom in January.  In June gardenias fill the backyard.  Grandchildren visit.  In each place she's made the same mistakes, she over commits and feels overwhelmed.  Her move is just another place along her continued journey.  We need to continue our journeys and let our hearts rejoice.  The Lord will be with us until the end.  Just keep going.  Rejoice in that continuing.  The Lord is always with us, now and to the very end.  We just need to press forward with joy.  Continuing might be the hardest part.  It means to keep on choosing righteousness.  On bad days it simply means to put one foot in front of the other.  But we do need to know where we're going. Life has ups and downs, a bump on the head.  If you imagine bliss is normal, we'll waste time screaming we've been robbed.  Most successful marriages require a lot of mutual toleration and most jobs require a lot mundane tasks.  The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride. We must not be weary.  There is time and hope if we combine patience and courage.  Never flinch.  Never despair.  Weary not.  Even good things like church callings can seem like pulls against our energy.  If we're here to serve others, what are all the others here for?  She spend hours and days finishing a quilt that her grandmother had started.  The more she quilted, the more she noticed it's flaws.  Her grandma was not that good a quilter!  She wanted to be what her grandmother wanted her to become.  Sometimes this work felt futile, but she wanted to continue.  She worked on this quilt at a time of special concern for one of her children.  She felt like she was not enough in mothering that child.  As she stitched the quilt, she mulled over all the what ifs of raising her child.  But she kept quilting.  She realized that with all her grandmother's flaws, she was more than enough for her.  As she continued her grandmother's quilt, she realized her stitches weren't even and her bordered weren't even.  She was a worse quilter than her grandmother!  But we all contribute to a beautiful tapestry.  The complete tapestry is far too large for us to see the importance of our individual threads.  But without our contributions, the tapestry would be incomplete and broken.  Our threads, our lives, are important.  Even the small things make a difference.  It was worth continuing the imperfect work her grandmother started.  She showed a picture of her granddaughter with the quilt and said it was a bridge across the generations.  The pioneers walked and walked and continued to walk.  Whether our walk began with a pioneer great grandmother or whether you're a first generation member, keep growing, keep trying, keep doing the daily good things you do.  That is who you are.  Don't give up.  Don't you quit.  You keep walking.  There is help and happiness ahead.  Trust God and believe in good things to come.  It's not enough to continue the walk with gritted teeth.  Rejoice evermore.  We are that we might have joy.  Grace happens anyway.  The least we can do is be there.  When we rejoice, our eyes become open to miracles. A little boy who needed a shot in the doctor's office prayed that he'd be calm and not afraid, and also prayed that he could have the mist instead of the shot.  The mist cost twice as much as the shot and his mother knew they could not afford it.  But when it came time for him to get the shot, the nurse said that there was a problem with the shot and he could receive the mist at no additional cost.  The little boy said, "See, the Lord answered my prayer."  Praise the Lord with your whole heart, rejoice!  Practice gratitude, forgiveness, and kindness.  Let the jerk in front of you merge into traffic.  In the Lord's strength, we can do all things.  W. W. Phelps was in the midst of much suffering when he wrote the song "Come Let us Rejoice!" We rejoice because the Lord is with us, even to the end.  You can get through the challenge you have today.  But you know what?  There are more challenges out there.  Life is a continuing journey and the Lord is with us, walking beside us, step by step.  Today is a part of that eternity.  Life begins again every day.  It isn't enough just to be on the journey, we must continue on in faith.  Through the atonement the Savior fills the measure when we are not enough.  All that is unfair about life can be made right through the atonement.  The atonement is the greatest evidence that we have of our Father's love.  In her family, threads were broken for a time.  The loss of her 8 year old son continues to be an ache that never leaves.  She wished that she could die.  All she knew was his absence.  All she knew was that he was gone.  But she could not live her life in Gethsemane.  The Savior was already there and she needed to move to a different garden. The Savior is with us.  Sorrows and losses will come.  Anyone who will be a disciple of Christ will suffer a Gethsemane, but they do not need to stay there.  Grace and the atonement offer safe passage.  Quitting is not an option, so we must live.  If we must live, live fully.  Engage each moment and continue forward.  Accept the company of the Lord and walk with Him.  Let aside every weight and run with patience the race that is before us.  Things will get better.  There is hope for a better world.  Everyone needs to be able to look forward to some respite.  We can get there.  However measured or far away, there is the promise of good things to come.  There is help.  There is happiness.  There really is light at the end of the tunnel.  It's the bright and morning star that can never be darkened--the very Son of God Himself.  If you're struggling to see that light, hold on.  Keep trying.  God loves you.  The Savior is with us to the end.  He calls us personally to know Him.  He is the resurrection and the life.  How many times on our own path does He show Himself to us?  Find ways to make your life useful, find joy every day.  Ride fearlessly across the ocean of circumstance.  Fear not!  Be not dismayed.  The Lord will strengthen us, uphold us, help us.  We are His.  He will be with us as we walk through the fire.  He is the Savior.  We are precious in His sight.  Far not!  He is with us.  He will not fail us.  Whether she's at home in the West or South or somewhere else, her journey continues.  It won't always be easy.  She expects challenges even in heaven.  But we can rejoice in this day.  We can walk with God forever.  We can continue and rejoice for the Lord is with us.  We're going to do something extraordinary.  Continue your journey.  Rejoice together!  

BIND UP THE BROKENHEARTED: STRENGTH, HEALING AND PEACE THROUGH THE ATONEMENT (Cami Shipp, Pat Walker):  When she was a little girl, she dreamed of being a princess--the town, the castle, the prince in shining armor.  She tried to keep the commandments thought the Lord would protect her from pain.  But as she experienced life, she realized there were dragons and villains and trials.  She wondered what she was doing wrong.  How can we expect to glide through life without trials?  Her ancestors are from Scotland.  Her family crest said, "Learn to suffer."  This emblem challenged what she thought life should be like.  She still wonders why her faith needs to be tested.  We all suffer struggles--illness, rejection, unemployment, death of a loved one.  We often wonder how we'll endure one more minute, one more second.  Sometimes our faith fades under troubles.  She's gone through experiences this past year which have caused her to question God's love for her. We don't have rich gains without effort.  The road to salvation always goes through a Gethsemane. Three weeks after she had a baby, she found some masses in her neck and went to the emergency room.  They found lymphoma cancer.  She held on to the hope that God would not do this to her.  She felt like it must be a big mistake.  She spent many hours on her knees praying that she would not really have cancer.  She was given a priesthood blessing that she would be healed. That gave her comfort. The Lord will stand by us.  After two weeks and several efforts, they got a tissue sample to do a biopsy.  A friend told her that the Lord chastens those He loves.  She was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma.  She felt betrayed, like the blessing would not come to pass and she was going to die.  She was trying to be brave, but was scared of the unknown.  But she tried to trust that God's plan was better than her own.  She began chemotherapy.  The nausea got worse with each treatment.  She now cannot even look at a piece of medical tape without getting sick.  She would get hit with waves of anxiety.  She would regain her strength and then get knocked down again.  Every morning she would brush her hair and cry at each loss of hair.  One morning she looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the face staring back at her.  She realized she could not change this situation and needed His help.  The Lord wanted to heal her.  She trusted His promise.  She was comforted.  Even the Savior wept.  He weeps for us and with us.  She could not do it alone and had to turn it over to the Lord.  She was humble and broken.  She turned her fears over to God.  But she was worried about her husband and her kids.  She waited.  Then she felt unconditional love from God.  The impression came to her, "Cancer is your gift."  She contemplated what that meant.  She realized she saw the healing hand of God.  He allowed her to suffer because she had lessons to learn.  That act of faith bound her to the Lord.  He was mending her spiritually.  To suffer His way is to give Him her will.  Preparing does not happen over night.  It is a drop by drop process of filling our lamps.  Trials will come.  When they do, we have to rely on the oil we have.  It's not enough to just get by.  We need unshakable faith.  She focuses on daily activities that draw her closer to God.  She starts with a prayer.  Then she exercises while listening to a conference talk.  She talks to a friend on the phone.  She listens to uplifting music.  God was healing her.  She learned to rely on Him for her happiness. Let us cheerfully do all things in our power.  She realized she could be cheerful no matter what she was going through.  We can be healed only if we let Him.  At the end of each day she asked herself how she had seen God's hand in her life that day. She used to want her troubles to go away, but now she would not change them for anything.  She is grateful that she is a daughter of God, that she is a princess, that she is His.  The second presenter then spoke about strength, healing, and the atonement.  She got back about a year ago from serving a mission in the Philippines. She fell in love with the people, the skies, the food.  One day she stood up to bear her testimony and said, "I realize there is no such thing as a perfect family."  A man stood up after her and said, "I have a perfect family."  No matter what that man went through, he saw his family as precious and dear.  She was born to a wonderful father who had pioneer ancestors.  He was the oldest of 13 children and he was deaf. It's a genetic situation and goes from one deaf male, to a hearing daughter, t a deaf grandson. She has a deaf son.  Her father had a happy, good life.  Her mother had a sad life.  Her neighbors wee LDS but never went to church.  The mother joined another church and took her children with her.  They tried to get her to come.  Her father didn't want her going to the other church, even though her non member mother didn't care.  They didn't pray in their family and didn't discuss religion.  A few times she went to church with her friend.  It was in an old, broken down building.  The minister talked about how everything was fine.  She felt like there was more to life.  She asked questions.  She watched her dad.  He was deaf and only talked with his hands.  All of a sudden she felt like she wanted what her daddy had.  He was a happy person with a glow about him.  She chose to honor her father.  When she trie to picture God, she pictured her kind,loving father, who always had positive things to say.  Later she married and had five children.  Her marriage ended in divorce.  Then she met a deaf man, a gentle kind man who reminded her of her father.  He loved to go to the temple, and she went with him.  He was the ward clerk and then was called to be the bishop o the deaf ward.  She learned about service.  She learned that God is always thee.  The Words of Christ will lead us on a straight course to eternal life.  Her knowledge of the gospel grew and her testimony grew, thanks to this man.  He pressed forward with a steadfastness in Christ.  It didn't matter how many meeting he had to go to or how many people he tried to help, he never complained.  She learned about sticking with it.  Go forth with faith.  He did puzzles and saved stamps.  He loved to travel.  He loved life.  One time he got a nasty letter from an angry ward member who told him he as a terrible bishop and he was doing everything wrong.  He threw the letter away and then the next Sunday when he went to church he hugged that woman.  He knew how to love.  After she married him, he loved all her children.  He was the first deaf sealer in the temple in the history of the church.  Four days before he died, he went to the temple and was thrilled to perform sealings.  She tried to get him to write his life story, but he felt like nobody would want to read it. He felt like he hadn't done anything important and nobody would care.  But she persuaded him to write it.  He shared his life and what he'd learned. He wanted to be the best he could be.  When we react God's counsel, we don't choose to be independent of counsel, we choose the influence of another power, who desires o make us miserable.  People want treasures, something that will make them rich.  Treasure found in the world cannot bring us happiness.  They remain empty, dissatisfied.  The miracle of the only real treasure is in finding Christ. She saw that in her father and her husband--you see the treasure in their possession.  Do we want to live in fear, or with a constant prayer drawing upon the powers of heaven?  There is only one real treasure to seek--our Heavenly Father.  We all struggle.  We all have challenges.  The Lord can forgive our angry hearts and we can forgive others.  The Savior came to heal all pain. She was in testimony meeting in the deaf ward where people were bearing their testimonies in sign language. A divorced lady with three children bore a wonderful testimony.  Her son is eaf, has cerebral palsy, and has autism.  She said that she's been angry, frustrated, and overwhelmed because of her son.  She blamed God and couldn't stand life.  She hurt so bad she was aching.  Then she decided to pray.  She told God how she felt.  And she started to feel a softness inside.  She was so surprised.  She started praying more. And she started feeling better and better.  She went t Temple Square and looked at the Christus statue.  The tears poured down her eyes.  She sat there crying for a half hour.  Then her heart was peaceful.  She felt good inside.  She felt happy.  What a beautiful testimony of what the Savior can do for us.  Some people attend church but don't think they're good enough to ever make it to heaven.  But what about Jesus Christ, His sacrifice, and His grace?  His grace is sufficient.  He doesn't just give a little and we have to make up the rest.  We can go there because He has paid the price.  If we love Him and want to do what He wants us to do, we can make it.  Grace is our energy source.  That's what keeps us going.  He shows us our weaknesses to help us.  He has paid the price.  The Lord wants us to do what will make us comfortable there with Him.  He wants us to have peace and happiness.  Triumph is measured by the amount of umph in our try.  

THE LORD DID STRENGTHEN THEM THAT THEY COULD UP THEIR BURDENS WITH EASE. (Connie Bell, Shirlene Seare, Haley Steed:  The Lord strengthens us so we can bear our burdens with ease.  We all have challenges, but the Lord will be there to increase our strength.  The Lord brings peace and understanding.  She asked the class to raise their hands if they have never experienced a trial in their lives, and never expect to.  Nobody raised their hands.  When Haley was a little girl she fell in love with basketball.  She spent countless hours shooting hoops and trying to get better.  Her parents challenged her to write down goals.  She wrote down that she wanted a scholarship to play college basketball.  She wanted to work hard to obtain her goal.  She was offered a scholarship to play basketball at BYU.  Her parents dropped her off at her new apartment at BYU.  She gave her a pillow that said "When life gets too hard to stand, kneel."  That pillow became a place to knee.  When she arrived at BYU, it was like a dream come true.  But she had a knee injury.  After surgery and rehab she came back and was ready to start again.  Bu within 20 minutes, she fell down again with the same injury.  She read a talk, "He heals the heavy laden."  She felt the Savior's love. She knew in that moment that the Savior knew how she was feeling.  She felt the healing power of the atonement.  She determined to fight back and play again.  She had more surgery and 8 more months of rehab, and then played for one month without mishap.  Then her leg buckled, her knee collapsed, and she felt despair   She felt like she was one with basketball.  She had surgery again.  She realized that she still had a passion for basketball and would give it one more shot.  That next year was her first healthy season as a BYU basketball player.  And now she has completed four healthy years.  It took her seven years, but she was able to live out her dream.  She would not trade one moment of that seven years.  It was a journey that changed her life and she would not have had it any other way.  Shirlene said she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She had surgery but opted out of radiation and chemo therapy.  She spent the next 21 years raising her children.  Then she and her husband moved to Utah and the cancer came back with a vengeance.  She was treated with a mastectomy  radiation, and chemotherapy.  This July will be 5 year out.  Connie said there is a section of Bangerter Highway that has a broken wall that has been replaced.  That is the place where her daughter was in a car accident that killed her.  When she got this news, her whole body went numb.  She sobbed.  The doctor said he was so sorry, but they'd done all they could to save her.  She asked to see her daughter's body.  She touched her face and hair and said, "Why her?  Why now?  Her life is just starting!"  She and her husband had both lost their parents in the previous five years, and now their daughter.  They couldn't understand why.  She wanted to look up to heaven and say, "Really? You've got to be kidding!"  You have to understand her daughter to know the magnitude of their loss. She had the most beautiful smile.  She lit up a room.  When she and her husband were married, they were sealed by LeGrand Richards.  He promised they would have children, but years passed and it didn't look like it would happen.  She wrote a letter to Elder Richards asking why his promise didn't happen.  He invited them to his office.  He laid a hand on each of their heads and gave a beautiful blessing.  He promised them that things would be okay. She knew without a doubt that those promises made years before would come to pass. Two months later she found out she was expecting.  When their daughter was born, she was a joy in their lives.  She loved to sing.  They later had a son and another daughter.  When their oldest daughter was 15, Connie was diagnosed with cancer and was only expected to live six months.  She decided to try chemo therapy, an experimental chemo.  She was quite ill as she experienced the effects of cancer treatment.  Her daughter was a great strength at that time.  She couldn't understand why.  She pleaded with the Lord to allow her mother to live to see her get married.  How ironic.  She did live, but her daughter did not.  This is hard to understand.  Three years after she was diagnosed with cancer, her daughter was killed in the accident.  She wanted so much to hold her just one more time.  As she was having a pity party, her youngest daughter came and asked her if she was sad.  She said she was sad, she missed her daughter who had been killed.  Her younger daughter said, "Yes, but I'm still here."  She realized she was not alone.  The atonement gives Christ the power to succor us all.  He supports us and gives us extra strength to bear our trials and burdens.  If we'll lay our burdens at the feet of our Savior and call upon the power of the atonement, and just put one foot in front of the other, He will take our burdens upon Him.  Shirlene said that when she first met with her oncologist, she wanted assurance that nothing would change with her treatment.  He told her that he had one patient who came for treatment with skis on his car and immediately went skiing, but another patient felt like she was dying.  It varied that much.  She determined that she was going to be like the skier.  But that was not the case.  After treatment, she spent 16 hours with her head in the toilet.  She needed her daughter to help dress her.  She needed round the clock care from her husband and daughter.  The Relief Society brought in meals.  The ward fasted for her.  Friends and neighbors visited, called, and sent cards and letters.  A group of friends came and sang hymns to her.  She had so many people serving her on a daily basis.  She was grateful for all the service, but didn't realize that those who were serving her were also blessed.  She's still very grateful for all the blessings she was given at that time.  A few months after treatment, she heard her daughter express what a blessing it was for her to take care of her.  Ward members also expressed how they had been blessed by helping her.  It is very difficult and humbling for us to have to accept service, but we must do so in order for them to feel the blessings.  She had to learn a lesson of allowing others to serve her so they could be blessed.  Haley said sometimes it would have been easier to say "I'm done" but we need to have a goal to aim for.  When she was going through her experiences with her injuries, she was taught how this works.  A glimpse of what victory can be helps us keep going.  We have to have goals that are worth fighting for.  As she woke up each morning, she had a vision.  Sometimes that vision was faint and fleeting, but she saw herself back out on the court playing basketball.  That's what helped her fight.  She felt like she had a goal worth fighting for.  She has an ultimate goal of returning to her Heavenly Father and she hopes one day to hear "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."  This will give us strength to fight any trial.  The Celestial Kingdom of God is worth fighting for.  Connie said a great lesson she has learned is that the Lord is in control of His eternal plan.  What we have control over is how we step up to our challenges.  Sometimes we can't fix what is broken.  That's when we need faith to place our burdens before the Lord and allow Him to handle them. We need to just take one step every day. Shirlene learned a lot of lessons.  Sometimes when we're going through trials, people don't know what to say.  They are learning and growing just like we are.  We need to be gracious and grateful receivers.  There cannot be a giver without a receiver.  We need to be grateful for our blessings.  The enabling power of the atonement is real.  One time when she was plopped out on the couch, very ill from treatment, she saw a woman on TV who had done great things while undergoing cancer treatment.  She felt like a failure and a burden!  The Savior suffered not only for sin and pain, but also for inequality and unfairness.  He paid the price.  He extends the arm of mercy.  He can strengthen us to do more than we can ever be on our own.  The atonement is real and available to each one of us.  The Lord will strengthen us.  With Him, our burdens will be easy.  Haley said there is no greater comforter than our Savior Jesus Christ.  Our testimonies are strengthened through our trials.  We gain a better understanding of the atonement.  There is always someone who knows how we're feeling.  There is a painting where He stands knocking at a door.  The door has no doorknob on His side.  We have to open the door for Him.  We need to embrace the challenges that come our way.  We were all excited to come to earth.  We knew we would have challenges, but we were excited to take them on.  Heroes face adversity and never quit.  We are here on earth to be tested.  That is why we are here.  The only way back to Heavenly Father is through adversity.  Our trials are not stumbling blocks, but stepping stones.  How we endure faithfully will determine our eternal reward.  Our Savior suffered every pain and trial that we ever could and understands everything we go through.  Good music helps us get through trials.  They sang "In the Arms of His Love."  When you're going through trials, you can feel the arms of your Savior's love around you.  

I WILL GO FORWARD...THE TESTIMONY OF JESUS WILL GUIDE MY VISION (Heather Rackham, Becky Butterfield):  Five years ago Heather and her husband decided to take their kids backpacking.  They waited until their kids were old enough and recruited family to come with them.  They had a great time.  Her oldest at the time was 8.  They hiked 8 miles up the mountain and visited beautiful mountain lakes.  She was so proud of her kids.  They've done that same trip every year since.  This summer will be their fifth trip.  Their daughter struggled that second year.  She stuck it out but it wasn't without tears.  But she made it.  The previous year her body had been in better condition.  She hadn't played soccer or done running club.  She wasn't as prepared.  It made a big difference and she hadn't had as much fun.  Instead of focusing on the beautiful scenery, she just wanted to be done.  That is like our lives.  How do we prepare to climb the mountains in life?  How can we minimize our heartache and keep from giving up?  Eliza R. Snow said, "I will smile at the rage of the tempest.  My testimony of Jesus will light a lamp to guide my vision."  Our testimony will lead us over mountains.  We need to recognize things that developed our testimonies in the first place.  Our faith can help us do all things.  Recognize that even though we haven't seen Heavenly Father, we have seen His hand in our life.  Recognize the times you've seen His influence.  We need to recognize the small and simple things that testify of the truth of the gospel.  After we encounter the living God, nothing is every the same.  Allow His hand to change you.  Thank Heavenly Father for everything that happened.  Thank Him for restraint when you wanted to strangle a child.  Thank Him for His presence that allowed you to start your day.  When you say your prayers, recognize how many times His hand has influenced your life.  Fear can hold us back.  We receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.  Faith is to agree unconditionally and in advance to whatever conditions God may require in the present and in the future.  When we're fearful in advance, it shows we're not willing to become what God wants us to become.  Let's not be the people who break.  The wise man built his house upon the rock. It's not A rock, it's THE rock.  It's not just any old rock.  The rock is the gospel.  It is simple, but not always easy.  It's studying the scriptures, it's going to the temple.  A woman lost her husband of many years.  They had gone to the temple weekly for years.  All those little things are the things that carry you through your trials.  When we come to a knowledge of the Savior, then comes the assurance of hope.  Hope if unwavering and firm.  It's knowing that you personally can achieve exaltation.  We agreed to come here and have these trials.  we knew it was going to be hard.  But we also knew why.  We cannot forget that hope.  That helps us through sadness and sorrows.  When our faith is strong, our hope grows.  We can have hope because divine assistance is always available.  The battle is not yours, but God's.  She was a Relief Society President.  Her life was crazy.  It was fun but she was terrorized.  She learned over and over again how much Heavenly Father loves each of us.  When you can feel His pure love for you, you can accomplish great things.  Satan wants you to be blinded to your greatness.  He wants us to turn and run before we even start up that mountain.  Pray to feel His love for you and others.  Charity is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself.  The greatest charity comes when we don't judge others and give each other the benefit of the doubt.  We have patience from someone who has let us down or didn't handle something the way we hoped they would.  We expect the best from each other.  Faith, hope and charity working together will help us face life's hardest challenges.  She has a good friend who has taught her about surviving trials.  She had a difficult childhood, full of abandonment.  She spent time in foster care.  Her mother committed suicide when she was 16.  But she has a home that is full of love and charity.  She wanted to love somebody the way she wanted to be loved.  She has watched friends suffer with the loss of a child, suffer miscarriages, dealing with intense anxiety, coping with the grief of the death of a husband, or never getting married, or having so many children they don't know what to do, or not having any children at all, or dealing with an unfaithful husband.  Heavenly Father will help us if we recognize His hand in our lives.  We can hope for a time of peace.  Then Becky spoke.  We should march forward, carry on, carry forth, carry forth.  Proceed in the experiences of life.  Stand always firm and steadfast.  Stand by the gospel.  The Lord is aware of our journeys and he wants us to journey forward with joy.  Be true to yourself.  The choices we make determine where our destiny will be.  Who knows the burden placed on your heart?  God made our hearts and knows what trials will come our way.   He gave us our voices and we must sing.  We each have defining moments in our lives when we must choose the path we will take.  The Father will not force our choices, but He will stand by us to help us find the right path and feel His influence.  His gentle persuasion to do what is right will ever be with us.  The way is always open.  We can always, in our darkest hour, look to the Son of God and live.  She traveled back east to welcome her first grandson.  She helped with his first bath.  That same day she received a phone call that her son back home had been seriously injured.  She could not get a flight until the next day and could not sleep that night.  But she read that the day of miracles had not ceased and knew immediately that the Lord was aware of her and her hurting son.  She had a strong impression that it was a miracle that her son was saved and that there were angels watching over him.  The memory of that moment has strengthened her to this day.  Her son was struggling mightily.  While she was driving to the hospital she received an impression that there were trials to come.  His recovery took years.  It is by faith that miracles are wrought.  If miracles have ceased, it is because of unbelief.  There were days she didn't want to pray because she hurt so much.  But she did.  Sometimes all she could do was take one more step forward, and prayer helped her do that.  During their time of great need, there were angels around them.  There were meals and hugs and gifts left on their doorstep.  She was spending all her time at the hospital, so her sister in law shopped for her.  Someone left her bright little girls.  Someone sent her a card saying they loved her.  We will go forward.  So many helped her.  How long shall we persevere   Just as long as we want the Lord to persevere with us--forever!  Carry on in spite of our fears, in spite of our years, in spite of our tears.  We can overcome our challenges.  Choose to sing of His redeeming love.  The Savior was not exempt from suffering.  He was pure and perfect, yet He was sold for 30 pieces of silver.  He choose to continue what He promised He would do, which was literally to save us all.  He bore with patience His afflictions.  We all have something to give.  She was in choir practice sitting next to an elderly woman.  The air conditioner was blowing on her and she shivered with the cold.  This elderly sister put her arm around her and warmed her heart.  That was 34 years ago but she still remembers the warmth.  After her sister's 24 year old son died, she chose to make quilts for family members.  Her acts of service helped to heal her heart.  Cultivate an attitude of gratitude.  Counting our blessings every day will lighten our burdens and help us feel joy.  She decided to keep a journal and write down three things every day she was grateful for.  At first it was hard, but it got easier and soon she was writing five things every day.  It helped her realize how blessed she was.  We can fulfill our church callings the best we can.  Commit to the gospel.  She had an aunt who was called to teach primary when she was a young married woman.  It was during the week and she didn't have access to a car.  It was quite a ways to the chapel, but she walked.  Even after she had three young children, she walked with them, carrying all her primary supplies.  During her older years she couldn't get out to do her visiting teaching, so she called the sisters and asked them to come to her house so she could visit with them.  Christ went about doing good.  Goodness followed Him.  As we serve our fellowmen, we will feel the Savior's love for us.  How often do we think of Christ?  How often do we speak of Him?  We must know Christ better.  We must remember Him.  We must serve Him valiantly   Then we will eat the bread of life.  Be strong and of good courage.  

YEA, LORD, WE DO LOVE THEE (Michelle King): Her husband was called to serve as a mission president in Georgia and she found her life very busy.  She gave it her best, but she find herself crying with so much to do.  She thought it wasn't humanly possible to get it all done, but she found that the Lord qualifies those He calls and He helped her do what she needed to do.  She saw 435 missionaries transform themselves into amazing teachers of the gospel.  How will we respond on judgment day when we're asked, "Do you love me?"  How do we show Jesus that we love Him?  By becoming like Him.  We need to demonstrate faith.  A missionary had completed her mission was returning to her home in Jamaica.  The plane she was flying on crash landed.  After the crash, people were panicking but she remained calm.  No one was killed.  Everyone was drenched with jet fuel and it was a miracle that there was no fire.  It was a miracle that no one died.  The missionary thanked her Heavenly Father.  Charity and love are Christlike attributes.  She was assigned by the news station she worked for to interview Neal A. Maxwell, following him around.  She thought when her assignment was over, that would be the last she'd see of him.  But through the years he continued to be concerned about them, inviting them to lunch, sending them cards and letters.  He went from having tip top health to having leukemia which he fought for seven years.  He was an example that when you are serving others, you're serving your God.  Charity is a way of becoming and takes a lifetime to achieve.  Charity never fails.  It is the pure love of Christ.  When she thinks of virtue, she thinks of young people and being worthy to attend the temple.  Virtue is a prerequisite to having the Spirit in our lives.  Knowledge is a Christlike attribute.  Our souls should delight in the scriptures.  Do we value that kind of knowledge as much as we value our time on Facebook?  Feast upon the words of Christ--not just nibble.  This is one time we should not be on a restricted diet. Patience is an attribute we need to work on.  We're constantly facing situations that require patience.  We often expect instantaneous solutions.  Patience permits us to cling in faith to the Lord even as we're being tossed around by the storms of life.  We must wait for the Lord's promised blessings as we move forward.  Humility is a willingness to submit to the will of the Lord and is a sign of strength.  A man set his cruise control for 75 as he and his family traveled down the highway.  His wife and children were asleep, and then he fell asleep at the wheel.  He was in the hospital for 4 months and had his leg amputated.  His wife and one of his children died, but he had one surviving son.  He could have forgiven a drunk driver who killed half his family, but found it very difficult to forgive himself for falling asleep at the wheel.  He felt the Lord telling him "feel joy."  He remarried 14 years ago and had two more children and his surviging son is now serving a mission.   Life is good now.  Diligence is a Christlike attribute.  Paul is an example of diligence--suffering all kinds of persecution while preaching the gospel until he could say he had finished the course and kept the faith.  Obedience is also a Christlike attribute.  Nephi was an example of obedience to all that he'd been asked to do.  He knew that the Lord gives no commandments save he prepares the way for us to obey them.  Are we exact in keeping the commandments?  Do we study the scriptures?  Are we selective in what TV shows we watch?  It might seem overwhelming to obtain all these attributes in our lifetime, but if we can get to the point where we have no more desire to do evil but to do good continually, we will know we are on the road to becoming like Jesus.  There is a blessing attached to every commandment.  After repenting, we become new creatures.  The deeply converted receive His image in their countenance.  It is never too late to change.  We become better, not bitter, as we turn ourselves over to Christ.  We can purify our very nature as we work to be humble and submit our will to God's.  We should look at ourselves remember each and every mistake we've ever made.  Instead, look at your life like marble.  It is beautiful and useful because of the dark lines that run through it, which become polished over time.  We are polished as we learn from our experiences in life.  Even though God has so many creations, He knows us each by name, just like he knows all the stars.  God knows us each individually and loves each of us.  We must ask for help and let Him help.  We must try each day to emulate the life of the Savior.  Do we love the Lord?  We answer that question every day by the way we live our lives and His attributes that we strive to emulate.  May we be disciples of Christ and represent Him well in everything we do, never turning back.  

BELIEVE IN GOOD THINGS TO COME.  DON'T GIVE UP...DON'T YOU QUIT (Leslie Swartwood, Emily Wayment):  Elder Holland said that all of us have times when we need to know that things will go better.  30 years ago a family set out to travel across the country in an old car.  Not far into their journey, their car gave out.  The husband left his wife and two young children in the car while he walked to a small Southern Utah town where a nice man drove the man back to the car and told him that they would never make that journey in that car.  Recently, Elder Holland drove back to that area where this incident had happened so many years ago.  He wanted to call out to that young man "Don't you quit."  Some blessings come sooner, some blessings come later.  Trust God and believe in good things to come.  Elder Holland has such a comforting way to addressing adversity.  We need to know that things will get better.  We need hope for a better world.  There is the promise of good things to come.  Leslie said early in her marriage her husband asked her, "How could the Lord have made someone so cute but so dumb."  She answered, "He made me cute so you'd marry me and dumb so I'd marry you."  She has been diagnosed with MS.  This disease has allowed her to empathize with others in the midst of their trials.  Challenges are not meant to defeat us.  They're placed in our path to refine us.  Jesus pleads "Come unto me and I will give you rest."  We must believe that Jesus Christ has the power to lighten our loads.  Lightening our load allows the Lord's sacrifice to apply to us in our lives.  It will be all right in the end.  How can we love days filled with sorrow?  We can't.  At least not for the moment.  But the way we react to adversity determines how happy and successful we are in life.  Remember your blessings.  They are so abundant.  Be grateful for those who lift you and are so kind.  Serve others.  When you're in the service of your fellow beings you are only in the service of your God.  So much in life depends on our attitude--the way we choose to see things and respond to others.  Do the best we can and choose to be happy in our circumstances, whatever they may be.  We can't direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.  A friend of hers suffered a paralyzing accident which left him a quadriplegic   He wrote a book "It's Good to be Alive."  He said he always wanted to do something better than anybody else.  And then he had his accident.  But he thought "I can be the best quadriplegic on a respirator that ever lived." But then Christopher Reeve had his accident and he found he was in competition with Superman.  His spirit of optimism were inspiring to all those he came in contact with.  We don't know why a lot of things happen, but we can know for sure that there is a loving and kind God who cares about us as individuals.  With His help and power, we can cope with any situation that life brings to us.  We can overcome challenges with His help.  Happiness is the object and design of our existence and will be the end thereof if we pursue the path that leads to it.  Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness.  It leads to joy and gladness. We will all experience adversity and trials in our lives, but the Lord will never leave us.  He will be there to buoy us up.  Christ has been said to be the light at the end of the tunnel.  But He is the light as we're going through the tunnel.  There is hope and happiness ahead.  Then Emily spoke.  When she was a little girl she knew Heavenly Father loved her.  She soon found out she would be tested.  She had thought she'd be able to avoid trials if she was faithful.  But even Jesus Christ went through trials.  He asked us to endure with Him through the end.  She had assumed that she would get married young and have lots of babies.  But that didn't happen. She was called to serve a mission in Canada.  After 11 months, she needed surgery and was sent home.  Her mission president told her that she was being sent home for another reason.  She was able to spend a month with her mother who was a noble woman.  They were close and best friends.  After she was healed from her surgery, she returned to her mission but soon after her mission, her mother and younger sister were killed in a car accident.  She is grateful for the last month she was able to spend with her mother, while taking the medical leave from her mission.  A year and a half later she was in an unhappy marriage and contemplating getting a divorce.  The Lord inspired her to see if there was any fruit in her marriage and if so nourish it, and if not, cast it aside.  You are never alone.  Sometimes we feel utterly alone, but the Lord is right beside us.  The lifting power of God is with us when we build our foundation upon Christ.  There were many nights when she felt so much pain she could not sleep.  She knew that the only way out of this was to go through it and she needed to be patient.  The Savior understood her.  He was a man of sorrows acquainted with grief.  She felt emotionally gutted and felt inadequate.  We can grow from change.  Attempt to be creative for the joy it brings.  We can realize how valuable our souls are to God and appreciate the worth of others.  God's work is about His children, and ours should be too.  When we only pray about ourselves, our prayers aren't very profitable.  Service feels so good.  It is by serving that we learn how to serve.  When we concern ourselves more with others, we find ourselves.  See a need and do something about it.  Every time you serve you're a better you.  Fix the things you can, don't fuss over the things you can't.  Write about the things you have to be grateful for every day.  Life is still good.  Gratitude turns what we have into enough and more.  Our friends are like angels that can change our world.  Faith is a choice.  If its not a happy ending, it's not the ending yet.  There is happiness ahead.  Believe in good things to come.  When we want the Lord to do something for us right now, it can be hard to wait.  But He will abide with us.  Someday we'll look back on our tribulations and thank the Lord for sending us things that drew us closer to Him.  Hold on to Christ and believe in good things that will surely come.  

STEADFAST AND IMMOVABLE: REMAINING FAITHFUL WHEN YOUR LIFE DIFFERS FROM YOUR PLAN (Heidi Hyte, Darla Serassio):  Heidi spoke first.  She is frequently asked why she isn't married.  It causes a bit of a sting.  Do you have your own question that causes a sting for you?  Where d you hurt?  Where is your pain?  She always pictured herself getting married.  As a girl, she made a huge list of qualities she wanted in a husband.  That list has gotten shorter through the years.  She now no longer requires a husband who plays the guitar.  She is now almost 38 years old and is still not married.  Sh has had fulfilling occupational opportunities.  Dating opportunities came and went.  She has wet her pillow with her tears.  She finally found a man she loved and thanked Heavenly Father for.  But thee was no proposal offered, no ring, no engagement.  She longs for her unborn children.  Her prayers have escalated  often accompanied by tears.  She has pleaded with Heavenly Father to grant her righteous desires.  She trusts the Lord's timing, but it still hurts to see happy families.  She has often why the Lord does't grant her this blessing?  Why does it need to be so hard?  Why do we have trials when the Lord wants us to have joy?  We came to this life to be tested.  We may not enjoy this reality when we're in the midst of a trial.  But it refines our character.  It isn't productive to consume ourselves with the whys and the hows.  Adversity teaches us things we cannot develop otherwise.  It helps us deepen our character.  Our Heavenly Father who loves us perfectly allows us to experience trials that allow us to become more like the Savior as we recognize the good that comes from each experience.  What is a trial for one may not be a trial for another.  Trials do pass.  He who is faithful in tribulation will receive a rich reward.  After much tribulation, come the blessings.  We are human and feelings of discouragement and loneliness will come.  Rachel mourned because she was barren, but the scriptures tell us "And God remembered Rachel" and she was blessed to have children.  She has a multitude of descendants today.  Our plan may not be the Lord's plan.  His plan for us is perfect and our trials are perfectly customized to us.  We need to endure to the end.  We must not only endure, but we must endure well.  The attitude we have while enduring makes all the difference  We need to be steadfast in Christ.  After we have gotten into the straight and narrow path, all is not done.  We must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, feasting upon His words and endure to the end.  We can have faith in God's plan and a perfect vision of God's blessings in store for us.  Choose faith over fear.  Cling to the knowledge that you have no need to fear.  There is greater light waiting at the end of the tunnel.  Christ will not fail us.  An optimistic attitude sustains our faith.  One of the greatest lessons we come to earth to learn is self mastery.  A person who is buried deep in sorrow will say that this is easy to talk about but difficult to embrace.  Even the Savior was deep in sorrow and prayed that if it were possible, the cup would pass from Him.  But He submitted to the will of His Father.  Even the Savior felt abandoned for a time. He called to the Father for support.  Our suffering is always to a lesser degree than His.  Why is she not married?  Because God had a different plan for her. But she knows that God loves her and is mindful of her.  God will remember you, even in this very moment.  Allow your faith to sustain you and help you remain steadfast and immovable.  Then Darla spoke.  Two frogs dropped into a bucket of milk.  Escape seemed impossible.  The first frog gave up and drowned.  The second frog did not give up even though it seemed hopeless. The persistent friction turned the milk to butter and the frog jumped to safety.  Which of the frogs do you identify with--the one who drowned or the one who persisted?  She has felt pain and has cried out in despair.  In her career as a judge, she has seen the cruelties of mankind--drugs, dishonesty, immorality, the list goes on.  Most of the defendants were good people who took a wrong turn.  She marveled how some people recognized the wrongness of their paths and turned their lives around.  This earth was created as a preparatory school.  We are setting our sails for eternal life.  We will be tested and retested.  How we handle life's challenges depend on the set of our sails and not on the gales.  Have you pondered and prayed concerning the promises you made in your pre-earthly life?  What callings and duties were you assigned?  Our life has a purpose and a plan.  The race is not to the swift, but he who endures to the end will be saved.  How do we react to challenges and trials.  It's easy to become biter and resentful and ask what we did t deserve this.  Even Joseph Smith experienced hours of distress while in Liberty Jail and cried out asking where God was.  God's response was that his adversities and afflictions would be for but a small moment and then if he endured well, God would exalt im on high.  Heavenly Father then tutored Joseph Smith and told him all those things would give him experience and be for his good.  We don't know what lies ahead.  We are powerless n controlling many of life's happenings  We can control, however, our response to our trials and adversities.  Often our trials can turn into blessings.  After marriage, she and her husband decided to start a family.  But they both had fertility problems.  She had several miscarriages.  But they were able to have two beautiful little daughters.  But then one day her husband accidentally backed his truck over one of their daughters. She was rushed to the hospital.  She went into the handicapped restroom where she could have privacy and poured out her heart to the Lord, praying for the life of her little girl. She offered her own life in exchange for that of her daughter. Slowly her daughter recovered and she learned to walk again.  A few years after this experience, Darla was diagnosed with cancer and told she would not live longer than five years.  She was so discouraged.  She was in despair at the thought of leaving her two little girls motherless. She submitted to cancer treatment and warned not to get pregnant.  She was put on birth control, although she did't think she needed it, with all her fertility problems.  But she did get pregnant in spite of the birth control.  She was advised to abort, but refused.   Her son started out fairly normal, but then showed some strange behavior.  He was diagnosed with autism. They were devastated with the diagnosis but decided to do everything possible for him.  As a young boy he was intelligent and progressed scholastically.  He played the piano.  However, he struggled with interactions with others.  By the 9th grade he was mainstreamed and had a 3.9 GPA.  In high school he purchased a car.  However, he suffered socially.  He knew he was different and lacked the emotions to interact with others.  He experienced bullying.  People took advantage of him.  People who had come before her in her judicial roll made threats toward his life.  On a cold November day she sat at a stop light less than a block from her home and watched police cars, fire engines, and ambulances head to her house.  She discovered that her boy had chosen to end his own life.  Her heart was shattered.  Life as she had known it would never be the same.  The loss of a child is devastating.  The death of a child who had conquered so much left them with so many questions--questions that will never be answered i this life.  She received a priesthood blessing from her stake president.  During the blessing, all of a sudden he stopped.  And then he said that peace and comfort would come, but in the Lord's time.  Then he reminded her that he had agreed to this assignment in the pre-existence.  In the back of her mind she heard the words to the primary song, A Child's Prayer.  Heavenly Father, are you really there?  And do you hear and answer every child'd prayer?  A few years after her son's death she received a knowledge that her son was all right and she began to have peace in her heart.  The atonement gives us the assurance that all things that are unfair in this life can and will be made right, even the deepest sorrows.  Every affliction can be healed.  She was blessed with understanding, trust, and patience to bear the burden of this horrific assignment.  Heavenly Father  began to repair her heart with six golden threads called grandchildren.  With each of the golden threads, as she sees her grandchildren grow, the scars and remnants of her broken heart heals. She knows she will see him again.  We are never alone.  Our Father in Heaven is always with us.  All we have to do is reach out to Him.  We walk by faith and not by sight.  She no longer asks why.  Her Heavenly Father in the pre-mortal life assigned her these challenges and she made a commitment to fulfill each and every assignment.  She needs to be faithful and trusting, and to endure.  As life goes on, she's learned to bear her burdens because Heavenly Father hears and answers every child's prayer.  May you turn your burdens into blessings as you realize that God is refining you.   

HE HAS NOT FORGOTTEN YOU. (Shonda Propst, Carole Webster):  Shonda spoke first.  She said she was just going to give the raw, honest truth.  As a child she never doubted that she would be a mom.  She was always babysitting.  She took care of her younger siblings.  So as a newlywed when she found herself struggling with infertility issues, it was devastating.  After they'd been married a year, people started asking them when they were going to start having kids.  That question really upset her.  She tried to put a smile on her face and move on.  But time went on and year after year there was still no baby.  She felt like she was letting her husband down.  During holidays she would visit her family.  She wanted to be with her sisters and see their children, but it broke her heart that she didn't have any.  It was a reminder of what she didn't have.  The worst was Mother's Day.  Sacrament Meeting on Mother's Day, when she could get herself to go, she felt so awkward when they handed out the plants.  Baby food and diaper commercials on TV made her want to cry.  Pregnant friends complained about how sick they were.  Friends would complain about how their kids drove them nuts.  But they had miracles she could not experience.  She felt incompatible with her friends who had children, and her circle of friends grew smaller and smaller.  They tried fertility treatments, but nothing helped.  Twice she was told she was pregnant but within a few hours she was told that she had a false pregnancy. She crashed.  It didn't matter how many lessons she tried to learn, it didn't change the fact that they were childless.  This struggle lasted nine years.  Her relationship with her Heavenly Father was affected because she prayed for this miracle day after day and she felt like her prayers were not being answered.  Eventually she lost the desire to pray altogether.  Her life started going in a direction she didn't want it to go.  She started to become an angry person, and less and less humble. One day in sacrament meeting yet another woman asked her when she was going to have children.  She tried to smile it off and said it would happen in the Lord's time.  Then this woman said to her, "That's okay.  Some women aren't cut out to be mothers."  She ran out of the church and rushed home, crying her head off.  She prayed, "Heavenly Father, do you know who I am?  Do you know what I'm going through?"  She received an instant answer to her prayer.  She felt a warmth and peace and comfort come over here that she had never felt before.  She sat there and soaked it in because she needed it so desperately.  She then began to understand the gift of the atonement.  Our Savior took upon Himself all of our pain, all of our afflictions, all of our sicknesses--even her infertility.  She had known what the atonement was about, but only after this experience did she know that He did what He did for HER.  Some of our most fervent prayers seem to go unanswered.  But our prayers are never ignored.  Our faith is not unappreciated.  While we know our mortal pain, He knows our immortal potential.  A year after this answer to her prayer they were blessed, through adoption, with a beautiful little boy. And three years later they got a perfect little girl. Heavenly Father does indeed love her.  She knows she is worth something in the eyes of the Lord.  Her Savior knows her by name.  Her importance is not determined by the number of children she has been blessed with.  She knows she is not loved any more or any less than someone else with 12 children.  God often gives us answers to our problems not by eliminating our problems, but by giving us the strength to deal with them.  Everything is in the Lord's time.  Whether she is able to adopt any more children or not, she feels very blessed to have the two that she does have.  Heavenly Father remembers her and her strengths and her weaknesses.  He has saved her for something extra special.  She no longer asks herself why me?  We should not judge others.  We have no clue what others are going through.  Her son was teasing her daughter by putting a plastic snake in her face.  She kept telling him to stop but he wouldn't.  She asked him "What part of stop don't you understand?"  He answered, "The S, the T, and maybe the P."  You get what you get and you don't throw a fit.  Keep your focus on other's needs.  It helps you you forget your own troubles.  Lift others up.  Both of the birth mothers of her children have experienced heartache beyond her comprehension, to have to place their children in the arms of someone else.  And to have to face the judgment of others.  She does not want their sacrifice to be taken for granted.  No matter what your troubles, He has not forgotten you.  We are all going to face trials.  Some are more difficult than others and some will last a lot longer than others.  But the Savior gave His life for us--for you and for me.  And He remembers us.  Then Carolyn spoke.  Her husband spent 13 months in Iraq and she had to play single mother.  She was so happen when he came home.  He bought a convenience store and it turned out to be a bad investment.  Her husband was going to school at night and doing homework and she had to work day and night in the convenience store.  Her husband suffered from PTSD and their family suffered.  Her husband did things she never thought he would and had to forgive him for things she didn't think she was capable of forgiving.  During this time they had their fifth baby.  She went to New Mexico to visit her sister for a break.  The day she left her husband hugged her and told her he loved her.  But right after she arrived in New Mexico she received divorce papers.  Her husband had cleaned out their bank account and removed his belongings from their home.  She faced pain, loss, and sudden poverty.  On top of all this she knew she would have to move.  She had no income, no job, no child support, and five children to care for.  She suffered with the pain of divorce.  She was so afraid.  She was lost in anger, shock and pain.  She had so many people who cared for her and looked after her, but she couldn't see it.  Her parents invited her to live in their home with them.  She was embarrassed to go back to the ward where she had grown up, feeling like a failure.  But it was where she was supposed to be.  The people in the church loved her and supported her.  During the next three years she learned countless lessons.  Principles that helped her were:  She knew that God loved her and she was strong enough to walk a little bit on her own.  The Lord's presence had been with her all those months.  She accepted responsibility for her own attitude.  She chose not to be a victim and to choose happiness.  Even though she was terrified, she put on a brave face. She did not want anybody feeling sorry for her.  There is nothing so bad that whining cannot make worse.  She thought that playing a single mom while her husband was overseas was hard, but actually being a single mom was harder.  She thought a lot about how it would make a difference to her if she knew that everything would turn out okay.  Her father told her that everything would work out in the end, and if it hadn't worked out, it wasn't the end.  Be of good cheer and do not fear.  The Lord is with you and will stand by you.  She decided to have faith and enjoy the journey. She dreaded the first Christmas after the divorce. She was so worried that her children would not be happy.  Her 7 year old son told her how excited he was for Christmas.  She asked him why, and dreaded that he would say he wanted gifts she could not give him.  But instead he said he was excited because of the gift he was giving her.  Her children had made her little gifts and were so happy to give them to her that only after she opened them did they think to open their own gifts.  One night she became ill and had to go to her room.  She fell to her knees, not in prayer, but in pain.  Her daughter was very concerned and wanted her to go to the emergency room, but she had no insurance and felt like she couldn't afford it.  Her daughter went and got her two uncles who gave her a priesthood blessing.  She immediately felt better.  She was so grateful.  There was a miracle every month that she managed to get by on her meager income.  Her old car seemed to heal itself.  One summer she wanted some new sandals and looked for some very specific ones but could not find them.  Then one day someone from the ward gave her some sandals that were exactly like the ones she wanted, even the right color, in exactly her size.  She felt that this was a miracle.  She learned to apply the atonement in a very personal way.  She learned that she needed to forgive others.  She learned to follow the example of the Savior who descended below all things.  Refusing to forgive is a grievous sin.  She harbored really hard feelings toward her ex-husband's new wife for several years.  At first she had no desire to forgive her.  She even thought about revenge.  But she did not like these terrible feelings and the awful anger.  She prayed about it for years.  But after she heard President Uchtdorf's talk to "Stop it!" she knew that's what she needed to do.  She appologised to the woman and let go of her hurt and anger.  It was such a relief to throw away this huge burden.  She had suffered needlessly for years by harboring these bad feelings toward her.  It felt so good to let them go!  Her journal as a single mother ended when she met Addison and married him.  She showed a video of his huge extended family proposing to her.  They danced to the song "I Think I Want to Marry You." She is now married and sealed to the most wonderful man in the world.  Between them they have twelve children, six teenagers and six younger children.  She feels very blessed to be a part of their lives.  They have been married for six months now.  They've had hard times, but have laughed until it hurts.  She is loving the journey.  Being divorced and a single mother was very painful and hard, but having this experience has helped her testimony grow and her faith has grown.  It has helped prepare her for the journey ahead.  She knows Heavenly Father loves her and through living the gospel, she can find great joy.  It will all work out in the end.  And if it hasn't worked out yet, it isn't the end.  Be of good cheer and know that God is with you.   

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